Posts Tagged ‘Reviews’

08-10-2014 12;06;48AM

AMC Stubs Member Swag, “Don’t freak out, it’s just a mask.”

Part of me cringed that I subjected myself to two Michael Bay movies in one month, but surprisingly enough, this one wasn’t as bad as the Transformer franchise—don’t get me wrong, it was still Michael Bay doing Michael Bay, but it was the higher end of the low expectations. After god knows how many script rewrites resulting from leaked scripts exploding the internet in mass rage, mostly about the idea that the turtles weren’t going to be turtles, but extra-dimensional aliens that simply looked like turtles, because according to Michael Bay, they were originally aliens, after which Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird set his shit straight and we were given the mutant turtles we were meant to have. Now, the story, if you have not been watching the new ‘Ninja Turtles’ cartoon on Nick, you may be slightly thrown by the story as it is (I’ve only seen it enough to recognize it as the source), since it will slightly conflict with your memories of the cartoon and/or comics (kinda like how the ‘90s movie conflicted with people that never read the comic and only knew the cartoon), but it’s not that much of massive change (especially when you keep telling yourself what he originally planned, you’ll be ok with it).

We start off with a cel-shaded prologue through the start credits that gives a brief profile of the turtles being trained to protect the city while they hide beneath it (not to get into a thing of constantly review the 3D quality of movies, but this was actually impressive to see—well enough that I almost started wishing I had money to upgrade my PC enough to see what my cel-shaded games look like in 3D—still not saying he did the 3D as well as it could have been, but it was at least a lot better than ‘Transformers: Age of Extinction’), we also get very brief notes that the Foot Clan lead by the Shredder is terrorizing New York. Credits/prologue ends, and we introduce Megan Fox’s ass in the role of TV news reporter April O’Neal who is interviewing a guy at a shipping yard about a recent robbery of chemicals which are hyped up to “you can’t even get this stuff on the black market” level. We then introduce Will Arnett as our comic-relief who begins the usual sexually objectifying of Megan Fox as is normally expected of any female in a Michael Bay movie (but it’s Megan Fox, and that’s pretty much her leading skill in acting), which then moves the scene over to reveal that April is only a fluff-piece reporter, who is only hoping to break in as an investigative reporter (she apparently doesn’t know why even Clark Kent quit the Daily Planet to become a blog writer—the internet is the new news source).

So nothing happens and her day ends with a bike ride home conveniently going by the shipping yard that happens to be getting robbed by the Foot, but then, someone stops them, and her camera-phone does badly with low light (worst product-placement ever), so all she gets is the vigilante’s calling-card of graffiti Asian symbols. She goes back to the office with this story and Whoopi Goldberg laughs at her absurd existence, and then so does Will Arnett while continuing to humorously attempt to get in her pants while she doesn’t notice.

We cut to a dude tide-up in ropes, who then gets attacked by dudes, that he beats ups because his choreography was designed to hit people and theirs wasn’t (it was actually a bit worse than a Star Wars light-saber fight where all the blows are nowhere near anything). He then breaks the ropes, and tells cheek-bones (played by Minae Noji) that her dudes suck, and she blames their sucking on the vigilante sucking less than them and it just wasn’t fair. So Shredder (played by Tohoru Masamune) who can understand English fluently but chooses to only speak Japanese ‘cause he just that kind of dick and wants to make you read stuff, tells cheek-bones to bait the vigilante by attacking innocents (like Michael Bay attacking your childhood innocents by making your favorite cartoons into his movies).

Conveniently, Megan Fox’s ass stumbles upon the Foot attacking a subway station, taking hostages (that she becomes a member of), and setting bombs (in a subway station that they’re in—why wouldn’t that be a good plan). Just in time to stop Megan Fox’s ass from getting shot by cheek-bones, a train comes, lights go out and everyone is beaten up. Lights come back and the vigilantes are only glimpsed climbing up a construction shoot that goes all the way from the subway station to the top of a multi-story building (I have no idea if that’s normal to have, but ok). Megan Fox’s ass follows them and starts taking pictures where Michael Bay comic-relief starts to spew until she passes out (which is understandable, Michael Bay comic-relief is a lot to try to take in).

She then realizes that the turtles are her pets from when she used to hang out with her dad in his lab that blew-up (this was apparently all a thing—welcome to info dumping—it doesn’t end here). After getting fired by Whoopi Goldberg for talking crazy she then goes to see her dad’s ex-lab partner who’s apparently rich-balls. This then rolls into an info dump that pretty much just spews out the rest of the plot so much you could just stop watching now ‘cause you already know everything that’s going to happen for the rest of the movie. So when the next scene is of him chillin’ with Shredder, despite what the music suggests, you’re not really surprised (it was pretty much a “no shit” moment).

Megan Fox’s ass then gets a message to meet the Turtles where they take her to meet Splinter (played by Tony Shalhoub for some reason—it’s really the most disjointing voice that just doesn’t fit at all). We then go into an info-dump that gives more detail of the turtles’ origins making the prologue a bit pointless (I really don’t think Michael Bay really understands the point to prologues to begin with). This then closes with Megan Fox’s ass conveniently realizing that her cell is being track at just the moment the Foot finds them. An absurd fight between Splinter and Shredder happens that makes the Yoda fight in Episode 3 look normal. Shredder expertly wields the armor that was just made for him like a scene ago, which seems to allow his bones to bend oddly (or it’s just a result of CGI fighting where they seem to think that moving fast makes you look like you’re made of rubber—I had this same issue with ‘Man of Steel’). Everybody almost dies, but not so much that we can’t go off for a couple days continue the rest of the story and come back and save you later when most people stopped even wondering if you were still alive or not.

All but Raph is taken, so he and April (because she knows where the lab partner’s rich-balls house is) go save the rest of the turtles then go all the way back to the city from where ever they were and stop the Shredder and lab-partner from poisoning then curing everybody. A large roof-top fight between the Turtles and the Shredder begins while the countdown for poison spewing starts (because no one can just poison spew without a countdown, there are traditions and protocols that must be followed). After slightly beating the Shredder with the flash-back spew reference they stop the count down. Shredder gets back up and just knocks down the spewer instead (‘cause screw those countdown protocols), which Megan Fox’s ass then threatens to drop and destroy the cure if he doesn’t stop (because that’s good threat that completely works in her favor and wouldn’t just get the whole city killed). Shredder falls to his doom, and the Turtles and Megan Fox’s ass disappear into the sewers. Splinter who we forgot was dieing is ok now, and we close with comic-relief, and no post-credit scene.

So… on the Michael Bay Grading Scale: 5 out of 5, there was just so much Megan Fox ass in 3D that you almost forget this is supposed to be a movie intended for kids. On the Everyone Else Grading Scale: 3 out of 5, which is pretty good in his case, the jokes weren’t as bad, the story wasn’t as bad, but it was still really bad. At best, I can say that it was way better than I thought it was going to be and would at least be a fun movie to take your kids to without too much regret, and isn’t anywhere near as painful to watch as any of the Transformer movies (at least the odd choice of voice actors are synced correctly, whereas Transformers usually just makes me think they’re all ventriloquists, or Popeye).

They gave me a button!

They gave me a button!

Ok, I have a thing about reviews, I do try to avoid writing any reviews on something if I have too much trouble finding anything positive to say about it, but at the same time, I also try to avoid reviews when I have too much trouble finding anything negative to say about it. I try my best to give every detail of the good and the bad, but this… it fanboyed the shit out of me, and I got nothin’ for the bad—I’m really trying to think of something bad to say, I swear. But, because I promised you a review, here we go anyway.

First, to reference my last review, I saw this in 3D, and it was fucking beautiful from beginning to the very, very end (I included the post-credit scene in that ‘very’—which you better remember to stay for).

It starts off with a prologue set in 1988 with Peter Quill (aka Star-Lord) as a child. He’s lost in his head listening to his Walkman, with a tape labeled “Awesome Mix Vol. 1,” we zoom out and reveal he’s sitting in a hospital when his grandfather comes to get him to see his mother who is at the very final stages of cancer—sorry, but you’ll have to just tough it out, you’re about to find yourself crying during a prologue (I know, right). She dies, and he storms off breaking down in front of the hospital, where a huge ship suddenly tracker-beams him up. End prologue… you can stop crying now.

Flashforward to the present and we have an interstellar Indiana Jones, who gives us a song and dance number that puts ‘Spider-man 3’ to shame. While he’s nabbing a metallic orb, he is interrupted by Korath and his people who apparently also want the orb, but wish to arrest him so their boss, Ronan the Accuser, can question him, which is then interrupted by a BA escape scene which is only mildly topped by a later escape scene.

This results in Star-Lord now having two different people looking for him, working for Ronan, Gamora, daughter of the Mad Titan, Thanos, wants the orb, and Yondu Udonta, revealed to be the crime boss that abducted him and “saved” him, wants him captured so he can kill him, and he wants the orb, but to sell.

We then go to Rocket Racoon and Groot who are scanning people for possible bounties, and come across Star-Lord with his fresh new bounty who’s visiting the Broker to sell the orb to, and then throws him out when he discovers Ronan wanted it.

Gamora, flirts, kicks, grabs, and runs quick enough to make things look clearly too easy, and she and Star-Lord wrestle while Rocket and Groot get in the middle, only to be finally interrupted by Nova Corps (aka Marvel’s Green Lantern Corps).

They’re thrown in prison, and a lot of people want to kill Gamora for helping Ronan destroy anything that wasn’t Kree. We then meet Drax the Destroyer, who has the biggest grudge and is only stopped by Star-Lord convincing him that Gamora would serve as bait for Ronan.

We then dive into the next BA escape.

They’re out, and headed to the Collector (you remember him, he was in the ‘Thor: the Dark World’ post-credit scene where we first hear the phrase “infinity stones”). The collector opens the orb and finally reveals what it is, right before his slave makes it go boom making the heroes of the story realize that it would be safer if handed over to the Nova Corps (well, Star-Lord still wants to sell it, without getting arrested), but before this is a thing, Ronan shows up because Drax is an idiot, and coincidently, Yondu arrives, resulting in the orb being taken by Ronan, everyone else captured and making deals with Yondu.

Deals are struck, and a plan to take on the now infinitely powered Ronan with the help of Nova Corps opens up to a huge battle in every direction. Gamora takes on Nebula, who really didn’t get much foreground story use until now, and ends with Nebula falling into nowhere (safe to assume we’ll see her in another movie). Rocket is outside helping Nova Corps in massive dogfights, that is going more south than not. And then, ending in the most touching speech from Groot that will have you in tears… again… sorry. Tears everywhere, Rocket blasts Ronan and Star-Lord and crew take on the infinite power and kaboom him to death… to… death.

More crying… so much crying… so, so much crying—and yay, most everyone is alive except everyone who’s dead, lets party, and stuff. We give vague explanation that the big badaboom didn’t kill Star-Lord because his daddy is a BA (*cough* Jason of Sparta *cough*), and now his ship is fixed and Nova Corps is cool with them for now.

We’re on the ship, more tears and crying, “Awesome Mix Vol. 2”, and onward to new adventures!

Now sit and count how many people stay before the end credits while you sit and wait like a good little fanboy/girl. Now I won’t reveal the post-credit, but just to squash one of the rumors so you don’t find yourself crying from disappointment later, a scene with Nathan Fillion as Nova does not happen—I’m not saying it won’t still be a thing later, I don’t give up hope that easily, but it’s not a thing for now. So just be cool, clap your hands, and say you believe and someday it will happen. The scene you do get is funny more for people my age though, for the rest of you kids, just tell you parents about it so they can explain it to you.

And, that’s about it… see… that was the most commentary void review I’ve ever done… it just feels empty. If it wasn’t for all the damned crying, I’d barely have anything at all.

So… um… the rating 4 out of 5, it didn’t give me shit to bitch about, resulting in a boring review—that shit ain’t coo’. Plus, so much crying making me so wet for so completely the wrong reasons—I’m not really sure what the right reasons are, but those can’t be them. The best thing we can really say about how awesome this was, is that it hopefully will open up the door a little wider to allow space operas to be a thing again. This world sucks, and we’re very in to looking far upward as our escape right now—give us something to look at. ‘Star Trek’ and ‘Star Wars’ aren’t the only franchises available, Flash Gordon, Buck Rodgers, and even another try at John Carter (with a less idiotic marketing agency maybe), and so much more are still there, let’s let the awesomeness of ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ be that thing that smacks Hollywood awake and gives us what we want (possibly in TV too).

Galaxy Collision in Action (NASA, Chandra, 7/0...

Galaxy Collision in Action (NASA, Chandra, 7/09/09) (Photo credit: NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center)

So… here we are, all anniversaried and stuff, and nothing to contribute. Last year I gave you a dose of ‘Natural Selection,’ and, while I do still plan to do something else with that eventually, I have yet to get around to anything. I could still do a Flash before the day’s out, but I have nothing motivating one right now (but I’ll see about looking for something). Best I can give you is the strong possibility that I will be able to give you a review for ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ tomorrow, since I plan to see that. I Amazon Instanted ‘Transcendence’ last night, but I don’t know if it was really worth reviewing, but I don’t know.

See, this is one of the key reasons I put this blog on hold for so long. Trying to keep working on top of keeping this running is a pain, simply because I have to keep trying to come up with things to talk about, and that’s difficult to do for even just the anniversary entry. I have a few categories, but coming up with anything to fill those categories with takes time too. I have to take time to develop a recipe, well enough to be able to explain it in as plain detail as possible (and I don’t even get time to cook anywhere near as much as I would like, let alone develop a new recipe), or I have to watch TV within a certain timeframe to review it (and you’re lucky if I’m not just catching up on a series about 3 or more eps at a time with OnDemand), and then movies, they just cost money on top of time. And of course stories are a whole issue of their own ‘cause not only do I have to take time to write them, I have to decide on who gets them (you or a publisher), which is why you’re always more likely to get flash-stories, there’s only so many places to submit those—although ‘Natural Selection’ is for the most part for you people, as I mentioned in a previous entry, I wrote something in that universe a bit ago, but held it back for submission possibilities, so, that’s no completely for you either, and money has to come first (that’s just how the game gets played).

And, so, that’s your sad anniversary entry. I’ll try to put up a Flash in a little bit, but that’s the best I can do for you for now. Here’s hoping for a review tomorrow.

Man of Steel

Man of Steel (Photo credit: MuseLed)

Finally watched Man of Steel

A short review on it… Zack Snyder is a confusing director—he keeps insisting on taking on action movies, but he really doesn’t seem to know what to do with them. He actually tells the story well, it’s when the action happens that he just starts falling into piles of clichés. This was one of the few comic book movies I’ve watched where I actually preferred the back-story act… it was well told, and actually made you feel for the character. But then when the action act started up, the clichés spewed out and punctured the movie with plot-holes and nonsensical physics and getting us to pretend to care about the wellbeing of barely significant characters even though every fucking thing was just leveled (“oh, look, those three guys are ok… too bad about the two completely fucked cities, but at least those guys are fine”). Completely leveled to the point that when Zod started saying he should have just let him build a Krypton, I was pretty much on his side about it, ‘cause, fuck, ya’might as well now.

Quick guess how they’re going to introduce Lex in the next movie… anyone? His usual thing is to point out that super humans are more dangerous than helpful… I’m pretty sure he has a good case going for him.

The CGI for a good portion of the action was just sloppy and at some points started looking completely cartoonish.

And the ending… when he gave himself a secret identity… half the fucking movie knows where his mom lives, but lets pretend the secret identity still makes any damn sense.

So… I’m giving this two ratings: Back-story act 4 out of 5, Action act 2 out of 5. I’m a storyteller by trade, I’m easier to win over with stories.

ZumiaoTemple complex - Ip man residence

ZumiaoTemple complex – Ip man residence (Photo credit: dhelling01)

Just watched ‘The Grandmaster’

Out of all the Ip Man movies that I’ve seen so far, this one is just odd. The storytelling of it was awkward and choppy, and just went off on tangents that I could barely even follow. The fight scenes were decent with only a few moments of unrealistic thrown in, but because of the odd story structuring, I had no idea what half the fights were even about… and I’m pretty sure only some of this can be blamed on the rum.

I give this a 3 out of 5, and I have no idea if this would have been different if I was sober.

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Doctor Who: Return to Earth

Doctor Who: Return to Earth (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’m back. I know, I was gone longer than I said I’d be, but it was necessary.

The Quantum Short was turned in, it got a 4.6 from 5 votes (looking at most of the entries’ ratings, that’s pretty good), but it didn’t make the shortlist.

I didn’t get a submission put together for ‘Cogs in Time,’ because it fell victim to my priority list, and simply wasn’t something that ended up happening. But, the release is Jan. 9, and you should buy it. It is packed with short stories and poems from many talented wordsmiths.

My ‘Dark Crystal’ story was completed and submitted and I am simply trying not to think about it too much until I get a response… so, let’s just leave it with that’s a thing that happened, for now…

Now, we’re in a new year, and new things are to come. I promised you a couple ‘How I Write’ posts that got pushed off by the priority list, but lucky for you, that one didn’t fall off altogether. I saw a couple movies by way of Amazon Instant, so we might have some reviews coming for those… I might even take a moment to shed some tears over Doctor Who (let’s just take a moment of silence for now). Recipes should be forming, at least a couple… tried redesigning my rum balls for Christmas—no pictures were taken… um… it’s still a work in progress.

Story projects to come… I am going to be finishing ‘Stiym’… shut’up… yes, I know I’ve said this before, but I mean it this time. The mess with ‘Dark Crystal’ and other crap has given me a considerable kick in the ass that has me extra determined to get some shit done. I estimate only a month or two of plunging into it, and it will be a finished manuscript ready to get mutilated by proof readers. After that, I will probably try throwing it at Baen, Orbit, and/or Ace, pretty much the Lionsgate and Relativity of the publishing world types, and if they say ‘no,’ then it’s getting self-pubbed (Stiym has been sitting around too long, he has only so much patience left). Then while ‘Stiym’ is in the thralls of waiting for responses, I’ll be working on finishing ‘Ravenblood.’

And then, there are the stories for you loyal blog-dwellers. I started doing flash stories before leaving without even bothering with explanation to why I was doing those—some of it was just to unclog my brain, so I could write, plus it was to give something to keep the blog moving… so I could write. Although, they were for the most part random, I will see about giving them a bit more structure and making a bit more of a thing out of them, since some of you seemed to like them. About the only rules I had for them so far were what I had for the Flash-round (minimum 100 words, maximum 300 words), but with the usual flash rules of being a complete story (contains beginning, middle, and end), and their inspirations come from different things, some of which were songs, or single lines, or a single word, or emotion… but yet, that part is what needs structure most.

And ‘Natural Selection’… I know I said it was dead, but damn’it I really liked the thing. I won’t be doing it the way it was before, and I’m still working on figuring out how it’s going to be done. What I can tell you about it so far though, all canon so far stands… all of it… even the last one. As it is, I need ideas from you people… I need names, just throw names at me (if you’re a follower already and know my usual naming scheme for NS, then you’re a winner in my book, but even other names are good—I’ll redesign them myself)—and I need weapons… pistol-blades, rifle-axes, and pistol-cannons are still a thing, but I need new stuff. Also, titles… I have a title in mind that I kinda like a lot, but throw yours at me, I might like yours more. As it is, I won’t be touching any of this until at least Feb. so I can work on ‘Stiym’ (NS would be too distracting).

And last but not least… St. Jude Warriors… I have $10 so far… this, G+, FB, and Twitter… I have only $10. The money for St. Jude Warriors is in no way for me… at best, I end the Warrior Dash with a shower, which I would be just as ok with being covered in mud. The money is for the children of St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, and, even though I’m only setting a goal of $300, I would have expected to get that and more by now. But instead, I have only $10. You have no idea how completely disappointed I am right now. I hear many people asking for help with this project and that for themselves, and I do everything I can, even if it’s giving what few dollars I can spare… but here I ask for you to help, not me, but children, and this is the response. I greatly appreciate the contribution that came from Astrea Baldwin, and I will promote the living shit out her book when a publisher finally bites and puts that thing in stores where it belongs… but for everyone else… I’m just very disappointed. Please… everyone that can spare anything at all, please donate what you can.

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Playground Temporarily Closed :-(

Playground Temporarily Closed 😦 (Photo credit: Adam Arroyo)

Well, it would seem that it is coming close to the time for me to take my traditional annual hiatus from the internet that I just started last year (it’s a tradition now). Though, last year it was for NaNoWriMo, this year I am not participating with NaNo (this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t—unless you’re also too busy with paying projects), and I’m taking off a month early. I mentioned a list of things that I’m trying to get done, ‘the Dark Crystal’ submission, a couple contest submissions, etc, and I’m really trying to squeeze all that in, and so to make that more doable, I must temporarily remove the land of the internet for a bit.

So, much like last time, I’ll be popping in to check mail and such, then popping right back out to never see it again until the next day to check mail, all the while writing ‘til my fingers cramp and arthritis themselves into permanently awkward positions.

But, being as how leaving this place unsupervised for a month last year allowed some of you to wander off and completely forget your way back here altogether, I will at least try to bombard you with reasons for why you hover here to begin with before I go. I have two ‘How I Write’ posts that I will be posting (the POV thing that I promised forever ago, and one about openings), I have at least one flash that I’m going to throw in, plus I have a review that I plan to do for ‘Agents of SHIELD’ (I’m waiting on the second ep before I do a review—plus, since I normally do two reviews for TV stuff, I need to find something else to review… open to suggestions). And, I haven’t done a food post in awhile, I’ll see about throwing something in… not sure what right now, since I haven’t really done anything new lately (though there are a few things I would like to do).

So, yea, next week, I’ll throw all that at you, then you will no longer see me until… dun-dun-dun! December! Assuming that I have the Dark Crystal thing done and ready to submit by then… which I should, but still, that’s my key goal with all this, but finishing my novel for submission on top of everything. So… yep.

The Mark III armor as featured in the 2008 fil...

The Mark III armor as featured in the 2008 film Iron Man. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I don’t know how much detail I can really put into this review compared to any of the others I’ve done because there was seriously so much stuff happening in this movie I probably missed half of it from blinking. But I’ll do my best to cover what I can.

We start off the movie in a flashback on New Years Eve 1999, where Stark is still his old self. Avoiding spoiler, we’ll simply say that pretty much everything that’s happening is crucial to the plot… except for maybe the Y2K joke.

Bringing it back to the now, Stark is working on another design for an Iron Man armor that allows him to will the armor to him with implants that he just injected into himself (not Extremis, but for those that know that arc, you should really keep that in mind). All the while we are introduced by news that there is a terrorist going around blowing stuff up known as the Mandarin, which then leads us to the president introducing the new War Machine model now known as the Iron Patriot (not Norman Osborn, it’s still Rhodey, just with a name that they deemed better for PR).

Meanwhile, back at Stark Industries, Pepper and Happy are trying to get things running as usual when Pepper gets an unexpected visit from the guy in the flashback, Aldrich Killian, which shows her a project that he’s working on call… Extremis (told you to keep it in mind—over all, this is somewhat of an odd remix of the Extremis arc). After Killian shows off his stuff, Happy finds him suspicious and follows him.

We move back to Pepper returning to the Stark house and being introduced to another new armor that Stark is “breaking in,” she assumes to be about Mk15, but is actually Mk42, which all becomes a reveal that Tony is dealing with PTSD from events that occurred back in New York in ‘the Avengers” (this is really about the only detail that seems to be even hinted about the other movies—if there was anything else, I missed it—oh, and sorry, there was only the most vague slight hint to Stark having a drinking problem… that was as close as Disney would allow it).

Back to Happy, things happen, boom. Mandarin takes credit, Stark threatens a terrorist. And now we bring the other person from the flashback in, and before we even know why she’s there, said threatened terrorist blows shit up, which gives Pepper her first moment to be a bit badass.

After huge sequence of shit blowing up, Stark is assumed dead, and we end up in Tennessee with a busted up armor. This leads us to the investigation of a boom that happened here similar to Happy’s boom, and as soon as you think shit is slowing down, shit starts blowing up again. Lot’s of blowing shit up going on in this movie—honestly, through this whole thing, I kept trying to figure out at what point Robert Downey, Jr might have gotten injured that caused a slight delay in production, and well, I stopped trying pretty early in… I couldn’t tell where he was using stunt doubles verses doing his own stunts, and there was so much going on that could have caused some injuries to happen.

Meanwhile, Iron Patriot is hunting down the Mandarin in all the wrong places and stumbles upon a trap that leads to his capture.

Back to Stark, the armor is on a slow charge and he has to MacGyver some stuff while he waits and starts to infiltrate the Mandarin’s hideout. Zapping, booming, and zapping happen, and Mandarin, stuff happens, Stark is captured.

Back to Rhodey still in the Iron Patriot, they eventually pry him out, Rhodey proves he’s pretty badass without the armor (best part about this movie is that all the characters that didn’t really get a chance to be badass in the other two, really get their chance here).

Then chase and rescuing of everyone, and final battle comes with the entire hall of armor out at once. The End (as close as I want to get to it without giving away every twist).

Stay ‘til end of credits (those that don’t already know this shouldn’t even be watching Marvel movies anymore). Final message is that “Tony Stark will be back”… I assume this is in response to the rumors that have been going around that Robert Downey, Jr was done with Iron Man, and no one knew if he was at least going to do the next Avengers movie or not… so, I guess that was telling us we have at least that… I think… or it’s saying they’re recast Tony Stark, but at least Stark is still a thing… I don’t know.

I heard rumors that there were supposed to be references to future Marvel movies in this one—references to Nova, and Ant-man—if these references ever made an appearance they were among the things that happened when I blinked, and I missed them.

Ok… rating, 4 out of 5, and I probably would have given it a straight 5 if it wasn’t for the internet filling me with so much stuff about the movie ahead of time, such as Disney axing Stark’s drinking problem (the writers wanted to mix in ‘Demon in a Bottle,’ but Disney drew the line on darkness there), I probably would have let it go easier if I never knew about it (internet ruins everything).